Letting Go Is Hard
by TheEliteLabRatsLover
Summary: Because, no matter the circumstances, letting go is hard.


**I have another one. I hope you like it! You know, it's pretty sickly ironic that I wrote this story. Because last night I had thought of this story, and I thought I could write it today. And then I found out this afternoon that one of my favorite, young cats was hit on the road and killed. Pretty sad stuff. :(**

 **Anyway, I hope you like this. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any part of this.**

* * *

Adam doesn't mind change. In fact, he embraces it, because he likes it. And he realizes that it's one of those things in life that just happens.

Change isn't the problem.

No, not at all.

It's the 'letting go' part that's always bothered him. Even from day one. He remembers one time when he was a child, and for his birthday, he had gotten a balloon.

It was a big deal for the young child he once was. Now, however, he looks back upon the memory, and can't help but chuckle at his over-dramatic actions.

* * *

He brought that balloon _everywhere_ with him. He wouldn't let it out of his sight, for it had become infinitely important to his child mind. But it had started shrinking; he hadn't thought much of it. Everyday it got smaller and smaller.

But did that mean anything to him?

No.

Then one day, it deflated entirely. And he was left with nothing more than a piece of plastic and a broken heart. He had to let it go. Then his memory goes back to a separate time in his youth. A time when he had found a pet rat.

It had become his best friend. But he kept it from the others, because this was his own special thing. But one day, when he was sneaking some food to it, he found it dead behind one of the cabinets. He cried for hours at the loss of his best friend.

 _If you only knew then what you did now..._

His conscience whispers to him bitterly. But he let it go.

* * *

Adam looks up at the darkened sky above him, and blinks back tears. Although, he tells himself it's only the rain that's drizzling down. But deep down he knows the truth; he's not as strong as he thinks.

* * *

Then there was a time when they were older, and Adam was only realizing then that he was losing his little sister and little brother; for they had become fully grown now.

They no longer depended on their eldest brother for support.

This startling realization shocked him to the very core. But at least it would always be the three of them together, forever, right? At least that's what he believed. It was after that realization did he know, that he had to let it go and move on.

Then there was the time with the three of them defeating Krane, and ending up having to house, teach and reform bionic soldiers from blank slates to warriors. Tough work. Especially because he was still figuring out the world himself. He knew that his life would never be the same after that. So he let it go, once again.

* * *

Adam glances around at all the mournful faces around him and chokes back a sob.

* * *

Then there was the latest time, and gosh, did this time it hurt. This time, nothing would ever be the same. And it was all his fault.

* * *

 ** _Flashback to a week ago:_**

 _"Okay, guys," Mr. Davenport begins, catching the attention of all three bionic mentors. "There's an urgent mission that needs you three, A.S.A.P. There's a burning and collapsing factory in Europe with at least fifty people in it that need to be evacuated, and the authorities can't handle it themselves. And since Leo's sick, it will be just you three. Got it?"_

 _Adam, Bree and Chase all nodded before heading to their capsules. Once they were out, Bree super sped them to the site of the fire, because Mr. Davenport sent them the GPS location in all of their chips. Once they arrived, they were shocked to find the fire a lot larger than they all expected._

 _"Okay, let's make this quick, you guys. I've got a date on the Mainland and do not want you two losers messing it up for me." Bree said, annoyance lacing her words as she tossed a lock of hair behind her shoulder._

 _"Don't worry, Bree, we'll make this as short as possible. Just like you, Chase." Adam said and Chase threw his head back with a groan._

 _"Can't we just try and focus on the mission without insulting me for once!?" Chase said, aggravated. Adam shrugged nonchalantly._

 _"Okay, but it's kind of hard to do when you have that doll like body. I mean it's practically screaming to be made fun of." Adam said with a grin as he punched Chase in the shoulder. Chase winced and immediately started to rub said shoulder._

 _"Guys, let's focus! Bree, you surround the building with your vortex to remove the smoke and any toxins, while also putting out the fire, while I do a scan. Adam, you wait until I've done the scan and Bree's done with the vortex, before we all three get in and rescue people." They both nodded and did as told, while Chase did his scan to locate all the people and then send their locations to the other's chips._

 _Bree was soon finished with the vortex, and met up with them by the entrance of the doorway. "Now, remember, the building's structure is highly unstable so be prepared for-" Chase was cut off by an exasperated groan by Adam._

 _"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let's just do this already!" He exclaimed and Chase rolled his eyes before they all started running in. Things were going smoothly, but just like any other day in their lives, that was about to change._

 _"Guys, I think I got everyone on my side!" Bree said through the comms._

 _"Same here!" Adam said._

 _"All right, everyone head to the center of the building, while I do a scan and meet you there." Chase said in his usual leader voice. Adam and Bree both obeyed and quickly met up at the center. Chase was soon there afterwards and greeted them with a smile. "Good job guys, we got everyone!" Chase said with a smile and Bree sighed._

 _"Well, since we're done, if you guys will excuse me, I'll just be heading home now." Bree said before disappearing in a blur of speed._

 _"Bree!" Chase exclaimed and sighed. "Well, she left us here."_

 _"Eh," Adam shrugged. "I'll race ya'!" He said before staring to run off but was stopped by Chase's voice._

 _"Wait! I hear something!" He exclaimed in a rushed, whisper. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple, trying to figure out where the sound came from. Suddenly his eyes opened wide with fright as he looked up at Adam._

 _"The buildings collapsing! Run!" He yelled and they both took off in a dead run towards the exit that was a good fifty yards away. Only now, could Adam hear the creaking from the ceiling as it started caving in on them._

 _The sound was so loud, Adam couldn't hear their pounding footsteps against the floor as they ran, or even their heavy breathing. "We're almost there; keep running!" Chase yelled, and right after he said that, a large part of the ceiling collapsed right behind them, raising so much dust that they could barely see._

 _Adam noticed he was quite a ways ahead of Chase and decided to make a remark about it; not quite realizing how serious the situation was, and soon would be._

 _"Look, I know you're pathetically unathletic, but at least try to run!" Adam shouted in a teasing tone, nearing the doorway with Chase right behind him._

 _Suddenly an overwhelming loud creaking sound was created right above them, and Adam looked up as he ran to see the roof caving in on them. Adam could see the light from the doorway and felt his heart pound as an awful realization made it's way across his mind. They weren't going to make it._

 _"Run!" Chase shouted at him, and suddenly Adam felt a tremendous force on his back shove him out into the opening of the building, and he landed with an ungraceful roll on the hard, dry ground. His very first thought was; ow._

 _That hurt._

 _But then he realized just what all had happened and looked up to the now completely collapsed building._

 _"Chase!" He yelled, his voice filled with fear. He coughed a couple of times from all the dust and immediately crawled over to the rubble where Chase had been last seen. "No, no, no, no, no!" He cried as he searched through the remains of the factory, throwing away the debris with little effort._

 _He suddenly found a black gloved hand and wasted no time in throwing away the rest of the rubble to reveal a horrible looking, limp Chase. His breath hitched in his throat as he choked on a sob. "No..." He whispered, tears trailing down his cheeks. Suddenly, he jumped in to action and placed two fingers on the side of Chase's neck._

 _One moment._

 _Two moments._

 _Three moments._

 _Nothing._

 _He quickly moved his fingers down to his wrist and waited; being frozen stiff with fear. "No, no, Chase, come on, don't let this be happening." He pleaded with a whisper._

 _He moved his ear over Chase's mouth and held his breath when he found no pulse in neither his neck nor wrist. He bit his lip, holding back a sob, before pressing his ear to Chase's still chest._

 _Nothing._

 _He immediately started performing CPR. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven," He counted aloud, only pausing to offer words of encouragement to the limp body beneath him. "Come on, Chase! You can't do this!" He sobbed loudly, when he realized all of his attempts were futile._

 _He collapsed onto Chase's chest, shaking with sobs and anguish screams of pain. His little brother...dead._

 _Because of him._

 _He failed him. Adam's heart broke as he realized that his little brother saved him. Adam was supposed to protect him, and he failed._

* * *

Adam screwed his eyes shut at the memory and shook with grief. Little did he know at the time that his last words to Chase would be an insult.

* * *

 _Adam's cries of agony filled the darkening sky as nighttime crept in and attempted to swallow the world in it's darkness; much like how the darkness had consumed his little brother Chase. A fresh wave of sobs wracked his body as he realized; how was he supposed to break the news to his family? Chase was gone._

 _And it was all his fault._

* * *

Adam choked on a sob as walked up onto the stage to speak to the small amount of people in front of him. Only a few people were allowed to attend the ceremony. Only close friends and family. He took a deep breath and began with a struggled voice.

"Chase was an amazing brother, and leader. But most importantly, he was my friend. Now I didn't treat him like a good friend. All I ever did was tease him and make fun of him...I never even told him I loved him." He sniffed.

"Chase was a beloved teammate, and I hope he knew that. Right now, I can promise you that he's watching us with a smile, telling us all that it'll be all right, and to not mourn too much, because that's the kind of man he was. Selfless. Heck, he saved my life, and that's the whole reason we're even here." His voice was choked, almost strangled as he spoke, a sob threatening to rise up his throat and consume him.

But he couldn't let it win.

He had to do this for Chase. He had to stay strong. Even though Adam believed that it should be him in that open casket, not his young, little brother. He inhaled another breath of fresh air. "I failed him. I'm not proud of it, but it's fact, and I have to deal with that fact for the rest of my life. I don't like it, but it's not my choice." He sighed.

"This isn't easy, and in no way fun, but I want Chase to know what he means to me. To us. I love him so much, and I hate myself for the fact that I never even told him. All I ask for, is that we continue his legacy and never forget Chase, my brother the hero." He looks over at Bree's tear streaked face and teary eyes, and immediately feels guilt twinge in his chest. Chase was her best friend, no matter what she claimed, and Adam knew she believed it was her fault for his death.

"Chase, I hope you're listening and that you realize just how much you meant to us. Because this is torture for us. You were an amazing person, and I hope you realized that. This isn't in anyway shape of form easy, because letting go is hard. But we have to do it anyway."

"I've always loved change, but this is different. I've lost a friend, a hero, and most importantly, a brother. And I'll never forget you, Chase Davenport. I love you, man." Adam directed up to the sky with a choked sob, before heading off of the stage and to the open casket.

Everyone headed away from the stand, all mourning the loss of a hero and beloved friend. Once everyone had headed inside for now, Adam broke down as he looked at the lifeless corpse in front of him. Never would Chase see the sky again. Never would he relish in the fact of how great his students had turned out to be.

Never would he become president, have a family and find love.

And it was all Adam's fault.

It just wasn't fair.

More sobs wracked his body as he clutched Chase's pale, limp hand. Adam could almost picture Chase's small grin, his bright eyes, and hear his joyful laugh filling the air. But with a sickening realization, Adam knew none of those things would never happen again, and it broke him to the core.

He had to let go once again, and this time he wasn't sure he could. He heard the doors behind creak open, and was reminded of the horrible sound of that ceiling collapsing in on them, taking a young boy's life way too soon.

He looked up and saw Bree standing next to him uncertainly. He stood up and immediately wrapped his arms around her. At least he had her. That mattered to him _so_ much. She sobbed quietly into his shoulder as she clutched onto him for dear life. Soon, the doors behind them opened and everybody came out for the burial.

All too soon, they closed the casket, and Adam sobbed for he knew he wouldn't ever see Chase again in this lifetime. He held Bree in front of him in his arms as she cried and watched on, while Mr. Davenport and Douglas stood with their arms around Tasha and Leo; they were all crying quietly.

They all dug one scoop with the shovel, before the pallbearers took over and eventually had a hole dug. Adam watched and bit his lip as they lowered the casket down into the hole.

It just bothered him so much that his younger brother was being buried in the cold, hard ground, when it was Adam's own fault. Once again, they each shoveled in one scoop, before they took over again.

Bree suddenly started sobbing and turned away into his arms, but Adam found it impossible to look away from where Chase's body lay. Soon, everyone had said their final goodbyes, before they all walked away, leaving Adam alone with Chase once again.

"Hey, Chase," He began, kneeling next to his little brother's, who was only sixteen years old, final resting place where he lay forever. "Listen, Buddy," He said quietly, with almost a whisper.

"I'm so, so, _so_ sorry I let this happen. It's all my fault, and I'll always believe that. Now, I know that I'll see you again some day, but right now, this is just too tough. I loved you so much, I want you to know that. But now, I suppose it's too late." He smiled bitterly.

"You were an amazing person, and you still are. You're just not here and in Heaven instead. I'm just so sorry, Chase." He felt a sob rise up in his throat and swallowed hard. But that didn't stop the tears from streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry that I teased you and never gave you the credit you deserved. I was, _am_ a horrible big brother. I regret everything hurtful I ever said to you. Now, I know you're with God now, and wouldn't want me to mourn you too much, but I can't help it. I'm trying, but this is just...it's too soon. The wounds are too soon. Too... _raw_. I loved you, Chase, I didn't say that enough." He huffed with out amusement.

"I didn't say it at all. But I'm trying to be better. A better brother, teacher, and just overall person. I love you, Chase, and I'm trying to do the one thing I despise the most. But I know that you'd want me to, so I'll do my best. Even though this hurts me so much, Chase. But I'll forever honor you, Buddy." _Here goes nothing,_ he thought. "Chase Davenport," He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I'm letting you go..."

* * *

 ***sobs* I was crying so hard while writing this. I hope you liked it. Please let me know! :)**


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